Hey there, Lovely... could you do with some help overcoming imposter syndrome?
Starting or running a coaching or service-based business can be both exhilarating and daunting. One of the biggest challenges many women face on this journey is imposter syndrome – that nagging feeling that you’re not good enough, that you don’t deserve your success or that you’re just waiting to be “found out” as a fraud.
If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. In this post, we’ll explore what imposter syndrome is, why it happens and how you can overcome it to build the confidence you need to succeed.
Let Me Tell You A Story...
I still clearly remember the day I had a meeting with a potential new client who wanted to hire a writer for their organisation's monthly magazine. All went well and we signed a contract.
But as I was driving home, I had a terrible feeling. This was my very first paid writing job and I kept thinking thoughts along the lines of, "What if they find out I'm not a writer?"
I felt like such a fraud and felt so sick that I was going to get caught out.
As soon as I arrived home I phoned a close friend - also a writer - and told her what had happened and how I felt about it. She laughed so hard and simply said, "But Darling, you ARE a writer. And a damn good one. You are not a fraud and there's nothing for you to be worried about."
Of course, she was right! This was in 2002 and by then I had completed my Diploma of Journalism, Advanced Diploma of Photojournalism and was a published freelance writer for numerous newspapers, print and digital magazines as well as having written for a number of charity organisations. And for my own business too, of course. Since then, I've studied further and have become certified in other types of writing. Always a top student, I DID have the necessary skills and went on to gain much more experience too.
The only difference was that this was a high-paid contract for a writer - and I wasn't seeing my own talent and value that others were more than happy to pay me for. I was more comfortable when I wasn't being paid but receiving money for my writing changed everything... in my mind.
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a "fraud," despite evidence of their competence. It’s a feeling that you’re not as capable as others think you are and it’s more common than you might think, especially among high-achieving women. (Hmmm... that certainly sounds familiar!)
Why It Happens
Imposter syndrome can stem from various sources, such as:
- Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards for yourself can make you feel inadequate when you inevitably fall short.
- Comparison: Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inferiority, especially in the age of social media where people often showcase their best selves.
- New Challenges: Starting a new business or taking on a new role can trigger self-doubt, as you step into unfamiliar territory and question your abilities.
(In my example story above, I certainly ticked all those boxes!)
Recognising the Signs
Before you can tackle imposter syndrome, it’s important to recognise the signs. Some common indicators include:
- Self-Doubt: Frequently questioning your abilities and feeling like you’re not good enough. (Yep!)
- Attributing Success to Luck: Believing that your achievements are due to luck or external factors, rather than your skills and hard work. (Yep. But in hindsight... oh my gosh... I can't describe how hard I worked to learn my skills! My journalism tutor was tough and had a strict 'no excuses' policy. I put in enormous effort to make sure I never let him down and got nothing but straight As in my assignments.)
- Fear of Failure: An intense fear of making mistakes or being exposed as a fraud. (And this is a big 'yes', again, from me when I got offered that writing job in 2002.)
- Overworking: Compensating for your perceived inadequacies by overworking and striving to prove yourself. (Oh yeah! My hand's up again... big time!)
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step to overcoming imposter syndrome is to acknowledge it. Recognise that these feelings are normal and that many successful people experience them. Simply naming and accepting your feelings can reduce their power over you.
Reframe Your Thoughts
Challenge negative thoughts and reframe them in a more positive light. Instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough,” remind yourself that you are good enough. Look for examples, or evidence, to show this is true. Or if you truly are struggling to find the evidence to show that you're good enough at whatever task you're questioning, try thinking, “I’m still learning and that’s okay.”
Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and remind yourself of your strengths and achievements.
Celebrate Your Successes
Take time to celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Keep a “success journal” where you document your achievements, positive feedback and milestones. Reflecting on these successes can boost your confidence and remind you of your capabilities.
I even keep a folder on my computer called 'Yay me!". And in this folder I save things that help me to feel positive and remind me of my achievements. It may sound silly, but that's okay. It works for me so I'll keep doing it. Try it for yourself and make sure you look at its contents regularly, as often as you need.
Seek Support And Mentorship
Don’t hesitate to seek support from others. Surround yourself with a network of supportive friends, family and fellow entrepreneurs who can provide encouragement and perspective. Consider finding a mentor who can offer guidance and reassurance as you navigate your entrepreneurial journey.
Focus on Continuous Learning
Instead of striving for perfection, focus on continuous learning and growth. Embrace a growth mindset, which values effort and learning over innate ability. Understand that making mistakes and facing challenges are part of the learning process and can help you become a better entrepreneur.
In fact, how many of the world's most successful people achieved their results straight away? Every painter, writer, builder, sports star... they all made mistakes or got 'okay' results before breaking records or seeing their work displayed in galleries.
So don't stress if you're not great at something from the get-go. Just start and keep practising. You'll fail. You'll make mistakes. People will criticise you and your results. But learn from all that and keep practising, getting better and better all the time.
Set Realistic Goals
Set realistic and achievable goals for yourself. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks and celebrate your progress along the way. This approach can help you build confidence and see tangible evidence of your capabilities.
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial for maintaining a positive mindset. Make time for activities that relax and recharge you, whether it’s exercise, meditation, reading or spending time with loved ones. A balanced lifestyle can help reduce stress and improve your overall confidence.
Practical Strategies For Managing Self-Doubt
Visualisation And Affirmations
Visualisation and affirmations can be powerful tools for overcoming self-doubt. Visualise yourself achieving your goals and handling challenges with confidence. Use positive affirmations to reinforce your self-belief. For example, repeat phrases like, “I am capable and competent,” or “I have the skills to succeed.”
Focus on Your Strengths
Identify your strengths and focus on leveraging them in your business. When you play to your strengths, you’re more likely to feel confident and capable. Make a list of your skills, experiences and qualities that contribute to your success and remind yourself of these regularly.
Limit Comparison
Comparing yourself to others can fuel imposter syndrome. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique and what you see on the surface doesn’t reflect the full picture. Focus on your own progress and celebrate your unique path and achievements.
Take Action
Sometimes the best way to combat self-doubt is to take action. Break tasks into smaller steps and tackle them one at a time. As you make progress, you’ll build momentum and confidence. Even small actions can lead to significant achievements over time.
Seek Professional Help If Needed
If imposter syndrome is severely impacting your mental health and well-being, consider seeking help from a professional therapist or counselor. They can provide strategies and support to help you manage these feelings and build a healthier mindset.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome IS Possible
Imposter syndrome is a common challenge, especially for women entrepreneurs. However, it doesn’t have to hold you back. From my own experience, this is something I dealt with for as long as I can remember. But it's something I've been working on and, for the most part, I no longer let it hold me back.
By following the suggestions in this post, you CAN overcome self-doubt and build the confidence you need to succeed. Remember, you are capable, deserving and more than enough. Embrace your journey and trust in your abilities – you’ve got this, Gorgeous!
